Why does familiarity usually lead to contempt?


When we get together with friends and family we let down the masks we wear and drop the persona we adopt in front of the world, and mostly revert to being ourselves.


Family and friendship seems to grant to us the privilege to be ourselves. And by ourselves we are often irrational, emotional and unique and that make individuals appear strange to others.


Everyone is different and it is difficult if not impossible for people to be just like us and we constantly look for faults in our family and friends. Since these very people are in the inner circle of our existence we are very familiar with them and their character.


Whenever two creatures come together a hierarchy comes into being because the laws of nature dictate that overtly or subtly one tries to dominate the other. We try to make members of our group family, friends and colleagues come around to and conform to our way of thinking, talking and behaving and rise to our expectations. No one can meet our expectations or satisfy us, this is in part because our own expectations themselves are constantly changing.


If we are more controlled by our animal instincts than our human qualities our familiarity with family, friend, and colleagues will make us feel contempt for them.


If we dare to be inspired and evolve both emotionally and intellectually, we will come to accept our family, friends and colleagues unconditionally, and try to adapt ourselves with their strengths and shortcomings to get the best out of them and ourselves.


Do not walk ahead of me, I might not follow,

Do not walk behind me, I might not lead,

Just walk beside me and be my friend.


It seems that both following and leading can be problematic. As the Guru taught us, "I am everyone's friend".


 

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