Sincerity can be dangerous
Updated: Jan 7
We see the world not as it is, rather we see it as we are.
Everything we see is as we perceive it, based on our limited knowledge, understanding, and our values, biases which have been spiced up by our imagination.
This could help explain why our lives are the way we experience it.
We have always been taught to speak the truth, which I almost always do. Not from a moral standpoint as much as a practical point of not having to deal with unnecessary baggage and complexity.
I have always been sincere. After all if something must be done it should be done well and with total commitment. After all it takes the same amount of effort and resources to do something well as it is to do it badly.
As a result my life has always been full of problems, with troubled days but restful nights.
If only I had not been so truthful or so sincere, my days would also be less troubling.
My sincerity caused breakup of my relationships with some family members, several friends and many associates.
I have always tried to do good, but often landed up creating more problems than the ones I set out to solve, often because most of the time they were none of my business. (I suspect it has a strong component of virtue signalling).
After much buffeting and battering I have learnt that telling a lie is different from not speaking the truth. Meaning sometimes it is better to only utter the least possible, or not to mention it at all. If a truth causes unnecessary anguish then is that truth any good?
People may ask for criticism, but in reality they only want to hear and read praises.
I now try to do good whenever I can and provide assistance or advice only whenever it is requested.
I have to constantly remind myself that unsolicited advice or assistance is never appreciated.
The problems created by my sincerity has been somewhat mitigated, but not solved. Because as we age, our nature solidifies more and more, making change more difficult with time.
I know I have to restrain myself, for indeed, a little bit of sincerity is dangerous. I just don't want a lot of it to become fatal for me.
Extract from my upcoming book, 'Achieving Success and Realising Happiness'
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