A Woman is never happy to share her man, so ...


Whether by luck, parental arrangement, love, lust or seduction, once she has him a woman is never happy about sharing her man.


I am talking not only about sharing her man with another woman, but also with friend, mother in law, etc. A woman resents sharing her man, with other interests, which begs the question 'why is this so?'


Permit me to explain.

Though I use the terms 'husband' and 'wife', to explain, it also applies to temporary relationships and live in arrangements, as to why there is so much confusion between the sexes about sharing.


In regard to marriage/relationships, our existence can be viewed in two parts. Our partner whom we can call our 'love' and everything else we do which we can call our 'life'.


When a woman loves or invests in a relationship, her love dominates her life. Her love and life converge becoming two sides of the same coin. Women, when they love, usually do so with their entire being.


Women find it incomprehensible, 'why can men not feel and behave the same as women?' and they make their displeasure known often and loudly.

Even if men may want to feel and behave in the same manner they cannot, because by their very nature men are differently inclined.


In contrast to a woman, a man's existence is divided in two different compartments, in one he has his love and in the other he has his life. The love compartment is for his woman and the other compartment containing everything else in his life. These include his work and career, hobbies, interests, entertainment, his family and his friends, etc. (Children move from one compartment to the other in a man's life).


When a man is focussed on life he fleetingly remembers his love, until it is approaching time to head back home or meet his love or partner. As a consequence even though men may try very hard, they often fail to remember many important tasks, dates, remain hazy about promises to their love and are usually absent minded about matters that seem important to their woman. This is why women have to keep on reminding men ever so often, not surprisingly men still forget. Probably this is the reason for women having to constantly to nag their men to get anything done.


This seemingly one way traffic of concern by the women infuriates and frustrates them. Grumbling rarely helps because men are wired differently from women, they simply cannot appreciate what the fuss is all about, and why a man's behaviour is not good enough and is also viewed as irresponsible and a direct indication of an absence of love or care for the woman and her feelings by her man.


Both men and women have friends, sport, work, hobbies, politics, and a hundred other interests that can potentially fill their life in addition to focus on their love. Women usually manage to juggle all these demands on their time yet focus on their love, unfortunately men not so well.


Women view most of a man's interests as competitors to her needs of attention and love, hence she becomes hostile towards most of these 'distractions', be they other people, beings or activities other than his core work.


If wives do not place demands it is quite likely that husbands will disappear for long spells returning to either protect their families or showing up only when they want either food, rest or sex.


A woman in marriage or in a relationship tries her best to minimise her man's extracurricular interests so that he is more available to her. This leads to a constant tug of war between man and woman.


Women have a psychological need to be the central focus in her man's life. On the other hand a man's interests in people, things and phenomena keep on shifting to return briefly to his woman and then wander off again trying to investigate, fight over (sport is a substitute for this), acquire or defend something, someone or idea.


I have learnt that if a man wants to be happy in a relationship, he should make the effort to make his woman feel she is the most important being and element in his life and yet find time to pursue his wide range of interests thus giving his woman and himself space.


Lockdowns have highlighted the importance of an individual's need for space.

It is plain to see the dangerous consequences on the mental and emotional health on two or more active creatures confined to limited space and activities for an extended time.


Try as hard as they may, men will never understand women and their wants, so it is best to follow Oscar Wilde's advice, "Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood."


 

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